It’s been 8 years since I gave my life to Jesus…

8 years since I made the decision to hand over control of my life to a loving Father in Heaven who already knew my story and who had a plan fully mapped out for my life…

8 years since I stepped into that “new creation” that is promised in 2 Corinthians 5:17, ridding myself of the “old” and putting on the “new”…

8 years in which I should have been living an abundant life filled with all of God’s promises and freedom in Christ….

8 years during which time various “fruits” should have been born:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22)…

So why do I still live with fear, anxiety, shame, doubt, and worry?  This is NOT a new life – this is NOT freedom!!  This was my old life but with faith thrown in for good measure.  But don’t get me wrong – I haven’t been sitting on the sidelines being passive – I’ve searched the scriptures, I’ve prayed, I’ve cried out to God for an intimacy with him as I’ve never experienced with any other, I’ve sought out wisdom from fellow believers, I’ve submerged myself in fellowship and community, and I truly BELIEVE that Jesus is my Savior.  So what has gone wrong?

My faith makes sense in my head – it just gets stuck when I try to filter it to my heart.  I seem to be nixxing my own destiny.  In other words, I’m preventing the transformation from happening in my heart.  Why?  Because the words I read in scripture and the promises of God aren’t filtering down to my heart.  Christ doesn’t live “in” me (Galatians 2:20) – rather I’ve been trying to live “for” Christ, with all the effort and works that that involves.  The basic truth, is that I obviously don’t trust God’s word.  If I did, I would be living an abundant life, as promised by Jesus in John 10:10.

So it’s time to RESET.  Time to walk into the light, time to sit up and fully digest the Truth.  Time to clothe myself in the Truth.  Time to believe and trust.

My reset journey blog is this next step in my adventure.  Learning to take the truth of scripture and bind it in my heart.  To change my own narrative that has shackled my heart and to throw off those chains so that I can truly live in the Freedom that comes from a Father in Heaven who gave everything up for me so that I could have an abundant life of joy and peace.

John 10-10

2 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Such vulnerability and inspiration at the same time! We are a work in progress striving to grow closer to the Lord every day. I pray that as you explore your own heart and listen for His guidance and direction your words will help others come to know and love Him as well. I look forward to your next entry 🙂


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